A song about the mess that is the Auckland Public Transport System - "Big City" by Ha the Unclear

I saw a great performance of this song live at Winecellar a while back and I am glad to hear the recording turned out so well! I really like the lyrical story that underpins the song. I instantly relate as a person whom also frequents the hideous mess that is Auckland public transport. Glad to hear a local song that captures the inward battle of the Auckland commute so vividly.

Crashing around Rotovegas

I went down the luge in Rotovegas earlier in the week. I had a real need for speed in the 3 wheel gravity propelled go-kart. But I took one turn too sharp at break neck speed and crashed into the barrier. My whole body jolted to the side and it felt like I was going to be thrown out of the humble vehicle with its wheels wailing. My friend Si was upahead going blatt out. He turned around at about a million miles an hour when heard the jarring crash. He thought we had a man down, but I was totally fine. Although my ego was severely deflated like a hot air ballon haha I coasted down the track for the remainder of the run 😂 Thankfully I recovered and was back to breaking the sound barrier in the next race 🏁 👌

i love a woman in red

i love a woman in red

it sends signals inside my head

primal lust mixed with temperance

desire allure excitement

the colour of blood dripping red
a powerful woman approaching yes

not a mother daughter or sister no

instead someone you beckon close

without shame or regret things unfold

on the couch in the bed on the floor

within your heart one thousand colours burn to red

Crawling in a Box Propelled by Circular Legs - catching up with B1 & B2

Caught up with my good friend B1 and B2 earlier in the week. I thought there was a jazz gig happening at Orleans downtown but I got to the bar just to be told it was the day before, I couldn't believe how I could've read the poster wrong, I had specifically borrowed one from a notice wall at uni to make sure when it was, then I resigned to the fact that it was a genuine mistake bhhaaa who likes stupid jazz anywho well except Art Pepper and Coltrane.

I quickly called my friends on route to New Orleans and so we went to plan b a much better call usually every time and always far more entertaining. The guys were still crawling into the City in a metal box propelled by circular legs. So in the meantime I got a murder burger which was actually bloody great. Tourists and rough sleepers flopped around the food court in quiet resignation their excitement turned to exhaustion demanding power naps and the congestion of fast food deep fried and dangerous.

I thought back to Earlier in the week while eating my chips I was troubled by a coconut water drink I had enjoyed in a food court off Shortland st (I had foolishly chosen to eat at struck down with a colossal inner city hunger risking death life and limb to enjoy a good meal) the reason for my pondering was due to my dad telling me how Monkeys in Thailand are collecting coconuts off trees to supply the demand for the plethora of cheap coconut water drinks available in NZ! Whilst I drank the water my mind subconsciously searched for traces of monkey in the liquid the tests proved inconclusive and got transferred to my fried frontal cortex.

After I finished my walking meal ironically from the same restaurant I once picketed for firing and mis-treating their workers I moved out into the mid-autumn night. I footed down the grey scratched  street tiles heading up a flaming hill to High st and waved across the deserted square at my friends 30 metres away blatantly drinking in public near a water fountain spewing out thousands of litres of water. We talked some shit then went to get a drink at the Blue stone room, an old ass place off Queen st, outside the venue littered everywhere like drunk leaches Coporate workers drowned their fractured identities with drink after drink off wine, beer and booze, down the hatch. I ordered a black Monteiths beer, B2 choose one to and the ever smooth B1 got hard liquor on ice most likely a blend.

We had a good yarn about B3's recent trip across the ditch to Melbourne. The geezers were surprised at all the whacked out beggars, bums and junkies on the street, thankfully their hard knock host materialised and made it clear the streetwise are pretty much harmless munters. B3 talked about the amazing amount of legal highs available in Ozzy especially in club bathrooms which they thought might even be not so legal. Well sounded like they had a ripper time just one big drunken blur of debauchery just what the doc ordered. They mentioned the famous street art everywhere and the strong indie music scene with bands and venues going for it even on a Bloody Sunday. I quickly took a piss and we made like the good lord and got the flock out of the bluestone room, note to self find out why they call it that name must be about the stone walls of the building i reckon, but are they earthquake proof.

Pink the Artist named after her Hair and Nathan Ruessianbo - Just Give Me A Stupid Reason Feat Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher

Here it is people Pink and the lead singer of Fun Mr No name I mean Nathan Ruessianbo. So what do we think of this video. Well I don't really have a reason but I would like to say that the singing is good. The video is almost cookie-cutter generic. This song verges on the painfully annoying. The singing although good reminds me of two chipmunks norring a leg off an suspecting camper on Queen St.

This video has almost given me a deep hatred of teddy bears, in all truth teddy bears have had a tough year in 2013. In between Miley Cyrus, Pink and Ashton Kutcher they haven't had much time off trying to sell things and marry people. But if we really want to talk about something interesting what about Ashton marrying that young thing Mila Kunis. I wasn't struck by how hot the co-star of black swan was until a random film I watched recently about a washed up piano player who ditches a low-life girlfriend and writes a musical for Mila and then appears naked at the end. All in all this brilliant film of which the name escapes me painted Mila in a very favourable light and we saw that she actually had a solid ability to act well. Something that can not be said for many actresses or actors in Hollywood. Accept Tom Cruise man can that guy jump on a couch and fly around with aliens well.
All in all I find the above Pink song nauseating and painful to listen too.

Sleeper Agent's New Rock Single "Waves" - A Dose of Californication

Sleeper Agent is a young rock band from Bowling Green Kentucky, in the USA and hail from the same underground rock scene as Cage the Elephant. Both the bands veteran guitarists remember swinging around on bar tables and generally getting raucous in the early days of their "Rocknroll degrees" before snatching deals from the majors. After placing songs in car commercials playing packed out concerts with Weezer and generally being good dudes Sleeper Agent are back with their new single "Waves". The song is pretty chilled out and sings about relaxing in California, something that I can definitely relate too (and the Kings of Leons aka "California Waiting" cover).
 If you haven't been to Los Angeles the feeling is kind of hard to describe but you can capture it anywhere in the state. I guess it's just the pure dopiness underpinning the capital of world entertainment. And its not the dopiness of down and outers buzzing out on Sunset Boulevards in the middle of the night. Instead of picturing a dark nightmare try and conjure up a euphoric feeling, like living in a fairytale were everyone is satisfied. The reason for the happiness in LA is because everyone has travelled hundreds of miles across the U.S in the vast majority in search of opportunity a career or at the very least a good time. When I listen to Sleeper Agents song Waves this is what it reminds me of the very fabric of the West Coast built up over time and cemented by the carefree days and great vibes in the sweet sunshine. Perhaps the Chilli Peppers hit the nail on the head when they named that special buzz 'Californication'. Whatever it is The Eagles, Gram Parson and the plethora of other countless Californian legends didn't come out of nowhere. And neither did Sleeper Agent so keep your ears perked for the new record dropping early 2014, on Mom + Pop/RCA. On a personal note I am really looking forward to the rockier material on record. I just hope my computer speakers can cope with the  audio onslaught on full volume, fingers crossed they survive !!!    

RockNRoll The Noes

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Limited Time: Free Download of "Gorgeous Baby" Album

Limited Time: Free Download of "Gorgeous Baby" Album:
               http://www.mediafire.com/download/aarq9elubrkoq8u/Gorgeous_Baby_Album.zip




Rock On!!! The Neos

The Neo-Kalashnikovs - Rock Music Born of Oppression: Rock Army Unite

I decided to edit this post as it was written in the moment when hundreds of people were attacking my band and song "Gorgeous Baby". When you have success you can truly ruffle some feathers. This is especially true for any feat of achievement in music. People may think that The Neos dis-like perhaps even hate Lorde or Lordie as we affectionately call her. Not true we have a serious level of respect for her achievements that are astounding. I may have said that she was a casualty of the culture industry being exploited by record executives, I doubt this very much. The reason I said this was perhaps due to the extreme heights she has achieved as an artist backed commercially from age 12. In reality I have no knowledge of her position as a person or her affairs. I have not taken anything out from the following extract and have only added in some good advice for young musicians. If you concentrate on the creation of your music and put out solid records and buzzed about videos you will achieve in music, on any scale but hopefully one that satisfies you as a person.


We represent lonely 14 year olds!!! we also represent the people that are cut down and rediculed, we represent the truth and god damn it we aint gonna stop because people catch some feelings we are the future and say fuck you to coporate Bull shit we are real rockers and we don't give a fuck what you think!!! whats sad is someone like Lorde being spun 75 million times in one week due to millions of dollars from a record company and singing about representing the Kids who are below the poverty line, its ludcrious she has changed due to industry involvment as a 12 year old she was a casualty of the culture industry and captiliast exploitation of young people for economic gain through music. (Edit) We'll thats one way of looking at it or you could think she flipped the game entirely and it was done on the back of a hit song that the industry backed due to its ability to connect. Thats a fair statement and I think we can learn a lot from Lorde as musicians; (1) you don't have to slay your guts out playing shitty pointless gigs getting paid nothing (2) you don't have to worry about selling your music as the industry can help you promote your music if its really good (3) Anything is possible in music and can see one achieve huge things it short amounts of time (4) It pays to have real songs with giant hooks in them sung by someone who can sick properly (5) We should have respect for our young peoples ability to achieve (6) dreams do come true (7) try not to upset people that enjoy a range of music whether independent, commercial or from Mordor. The Neos do and will always repesent the bands with as much talent as Lorde who are passed over and denied one fucking spin on their University station beause we are that fucking band you want to come and walk in my shoes and see the bullshit for what it is you couldn't survive we are heros to the underdogs and the have nots the people that don't bow down we stand for freedom of speech and will never ever be told to hold our tongues whilst money is running, ruining and controlling Music in all of its forms!!!! Rock Army Unite!!!!!! The Neo-Kalashnikovs

                                                                         "Royals"
                                                       I Never Seen A Diamond In The Flesh
                                                       We'll never be rulers
                                                        We didn't come from money
                                                          but I am proud of this address

                                                                      THE NEOS

The Neo-Kalashnikovs Got Critiqued by a Corner full of Babies: The Bullshit Meter Subsequently Exploded

Comment on the Official Blog Post link below and Help kill a Troll in Auckland City immediately:  http://thecorner.co.nz/2013/09/09/great-sounds-great-bad-sounds-bad-the-neo-kalashnikovs-gorgeous-baby/

 ‘Gorgeous Baby’

Posted by The Corner × September 9, 2013 at

Great Sounds Great; Bad Sounds Bad is a column which sees a panel of writers for The Corner review a range of local singles and grade them out of 10. Check out the song below, read through their opinions and let us know in the comments section your own thoughts and what you’d like to see reviewed next time around.

[YouTube / Bandcamp]

[Grade: 5.3]

Alex Lyall: Wow Coronation Street just got sex-ay. There’s no reason why they had to go to that trouble to get Rosie Webster but there she is strutting and smoking. I think that was the mindset behind the song too, they’ll make a song just because y’know. I say this because the entire time nothing memorable happens, same tone, same lyrics. No risk, no depth. The repetition feels less like emphasis and more like a piece of propaganda. ‘All hail the gorgeous baby.’ [3]

Robyn Gallagher: I like this song for its lazy, sexy charms. The song doesn’t have much more to say other than the frequently repeated line “my God you’re gorgeous baby”, but sometimes that’s all that needs to be said. The thick fuzzy guitar and Volita’s bright vocals create plenty of sultry atmosphere. But none of that matters because of the utterly insane (and therefore brilliant) music video. Starring ex-Corrie actress and current UK tabloid hot mess Helen Flanagan, the video sees her pouting around a country house while lip-syncing the song. This is either an utterly genius career move for the Neo-Kalashnikovs or for Ms Flanagan, but not both. [6]

Eden Bradfield: Man! This video has a lot of views! Apparently the girl in the video is famous or something. It’s an okay song that goes on too long- only so many times one can repeat “..you’re gorgeous baby” unless one was David Lynch and putting it through a voice processor, which could actually be entertaining. Probably a longer song works to their advantage so the 166K people who’ve seen it can see more footage of Helen whatsherface. As a song it’s a bit weak, but it’s a publicity coup d’état. [4]

Luke Jacobs: Ignore the video. It is terrible. I didn’t know who Helen Flanagan was before it and after it I know nothing. So just stay away. The song ain’t bad but damn does it stick around for way too long. There is so much repetition of a single line and idea it could have been 2 minutes long and smoldered for that time and been perfectly good.

I guess whatever charm it had worked because I listened to the rest of the EP and I can say it’s better and this single is a bit weak compared to the rest of the material they have. The production on their other songs is better too, much less emphasis on the vocals and a hotter sound. The rhythm section sizzles in the EP but on this track it kind of sounds muted. There is potential here but right now we are coasting to average town. [5]

Elizabeth Beattie: The song has decent dynamics, the musical simplicity is quite appealing. The vocals are really excellent, well executed and they compliment the instrumental passages well. This song has an early 90s trancey quality to it, reminiscent of the Breeders while still remaining modern at the same time. I do however wish the lyrics were a little more artful and complex - after a few listens I really felt like I wanted there to be more of them. But I like the mood this track creates and think it’s a pretty decent single. [7]

Alex Braae: While I wasn’t particularly impressed by the lack of punch in this recording, I have no doubt this song would be incredible live. Perfectly simple melodically, with a fantastic drum pattern underpinning it, this song should be remade when the band has access to better technology. In a dark room, smoke machine, too crowded with drinks being spilled by a heaving crowd, the hooks of ‘Gorgeous Baby’ would sweep people up like puppets on strings. As it is in the present form though, it’s just potential. Frustratingly, not quite realised potential. [6]

Eamonn Marra: Nice guitar tone. The harmony in the chorus is really good too. The vocals are a bit high in the mix, and the production is a bit slick, but that is just a personal preference thing. I was hoping this would go somewhere, but it didn’t really do anything. It just stagnated with this one idea for a bit too long. It would be nicer if it were half as long. It’s not a bad song, it just lost its appeal by the end of it. [6]

Michael Kerby: Sleep inducing. Which is, I guess, part of the vibe — a sort of fuzzed-up Cowboy Junkies. But, while nice, (and actually a bit of an earworm) it’s missing some crucial item of interest. I have no desire to ever listen to it again, or to return to whatever languid world they just fell short of conjuring up. It’s certainly a catchy bastard, though. [5]

Nick Braae: The individual components of ‘Gorgeous Baby’ are strong. There’s the main groove, with its menacing battle between a straight kick-drum pattern and syncopated guitar and snare riff; there’s the lovely blending of the voices; and there’s the sultry, bluesy melody. But they don’t quite coalesce into a strong song, probably because there is so much repetition of the ideas. It’s a shame really; a little variation in structure and dynamic level, and this would have been a killer track. [6]

The Neo-Kalashnikovs Gorgeous Baby Goes Viral in the United Kingdom

The Neo-Kalashnikovs latest rock video for "Gorgeous Baby" featuring Helen Flanagan was a viral hit in the U.K being covered by MTV U.K, Huffington Post and The Daily Mirror and countless others. The video was originally released on Noisey.com a subsidiary of Vice.com the bands favorite alternative company. All up the video amassed across all platforms over 600,000 views.

The plan for the release was originally thought up by drummer Moss Bioletti who realized that Helen would be a fantastic star to help propel the video into the Blogsphere and rock Youtube. However, he didn't realize to what a large scale the video was going to be viewed and whether the U.K would embrace the song. Thankful the overwhelming feeling from the British public was extremely positive many hailing it as a great song. One blogger also said that it was the worst video of all time which the band was stoked with, especially since it was shot on a budget of $200. If you like catchy rock songs you can buy "Gorgeous Baby" off ITunes: http://tiny.cc/j39b1w

In other news the bands next music video for their new single "Turn the Tables" is also in pre-production and will see the band rocking out on stage and getting band tattoos. Hauraki Fm will be playing it on high rotation in 2 weeks so keep an ear out for the full bore rock song or purchase it from ITunes: http://tiny.cc/6aac1w

In music and recording news the band is also working hard on some hot new material in the studio. They will also be playing some sweet shows soon with The Glocks at kick ass Juice Bar and in Wellington at Bitchfest. The Neos are also super excited to announce Official band t-shirts are on the way and 12 inch translucent red vinyls of "She's On Heat" will be arriving soon.

Press Coverage:
http://noisey.vice.com/en_uk/blog/helen-flanagan-debut-nsfw-music-video  Vice U.K (originally premiered on) 
http://tinyurl.com/mt732d4 MTV uk
http://tinyurl.com/kpxuyx4 Huffington Post
http://tinyurl.com/kw56cqb Daily Mail
http://tinyurl.com/meqllkk  The Sun
http://tinyurl.com/lq3az2w Digital Spy
http://tinyurl.com/lgltmap  Daily Star
http://tinyurl.com/lruy72o  *Yahoo U.K
http://tinyurl.com/molp3f2   Indian Times