Saturday 14 September 2013

The Neo-Kalashnikovs - Rock Music Born of Oppression: Rock Army Unite


I decided to edit this post as it was written in the moment when hundreds of people were attacking my band and song "Gorgeous Baby". When you have success you can truly ruffle some feathers. This is especially true for any feat of achievement in music. People may think that The Neos dis-like perhaps even hate Lorde or Lordie as we affectionately call her. Not true we have a serious level of respect for her achievements that are astounding. I may have said that she was a casualty of the culture industry being exploited by record executives, I doubt this very much. The reason I said this was perhaps due to the extreme heights she has achieved as an artist backed commercially from age 12. In reality I have no knowledge of her position as a person or her affairs. I have not taken anything out from the following extract and have only added in some good advice for young musicians. If you concentrate on the creation of your music and put out solid records and buzzed about videos you will achieve in music, on any scale but hopefully one that satisfies you as a person.


We represent lonely 14 year olds!!! we also represent the people that are cut down and rediculed, we represent the truth and god damn it we aint gonna stop because people catch some feelings we are the future and say fuck you to coporate Bull shit we are real rockers and we don't give a fuck what you think!!! whats sad is someone like Lorde being spun 75 million times in one week due to millions of dollars from a record company and singing about representing the Kids who are below the poverty line, its ludcrious she has changed due to industry involvment as a 12 year old she was a casualty of the culture industry and captiliast exploitation of young people for economic gain through music. (Edit) We'll thats one way of looking at it or you could think she flipped the game entirely and it was done on the back of a hit song that the industry backed due to its ability to connect. Thats a fair statement and I think we can learn a lot from Lorde as musicians; (1) you don't have to slay your guts out playing shitty pointless gigs getting paid nothing (2) you don't have to worry about selling your music as the industry can help you promote your music if its really good (3) Anything is possible in music and can see one achieve huge things it short amounts of time (4) It pays to have real songs with giant hooks in them sung by someone who can sick properly (5) We should have respect for our young peoples ability to achieve (6) dreams do come true (7) try not to upset people that enjoy a range of music whether independent, commercial or from Mordor. The Neos do and will always repesent the bands with as much talent as Lorde who are passed over and denied one fucking spin on their University station beause we are that fucking band you want to come and walk in my shoes and see the bullshit for what it is you couldn't survive we are heros to the underdogs and the have nots the people that don't bow down we stand for freedom of speech and will never ever be told to hold our tongues whilst money is running, ruining and controlling Music in all of its forms!!!! Rock Army Unite!!!!!! The Neo-Kalashnikovs

                                                                         "Royals"
                                                       I Never Seen A Diamond In The Flesh
                                                       We'll never be rulers
                                                        We didn't come from money
                                                          but I am proud of this address

                                                                      THE NEOS

Monday 9 September 2013

The Neo-Kalashnikovs Got Critiqued by a Corner full of Babies: The Bullshit Meter Subsequently Exploded

Comment on the Official Blog Post link below and Help kill a Troll in Auckland City immediately:  http://thecorner.co.nz/2013/09/09/great-sounds-great-bad-sounds-bad-the-neo-kalashnikovs-gorgeous-baby/

 ‘Gorgeous Baby’

Helen Flanagan
Great Sounds Great; Bad Sounds Bad is a column which sees a panel of writers for The Corner review a range of local singles and grade them out of 10. Check out the song below, read through their opinions and let us know in the comments section your own thoughts and what you’d like to see reviewed next time around.
[Grade: 5.3]
Alex Lyall: Wow Coronation Street just got sex-ay. There’s no reason why they had to go to that trouble to get Rosie Webster but there she is strutting and smoking. I think that was the mindset behind the song too, they’ll make a song just because y’know. I say this because the entire time nothing memorable happens, same tone, same lyrics. No risk, no depth. The repetition feels less like emphasis and more like a piece of propaganda. ‘All hail the gorgeous baby.’ [3]
Robyn Gallagher: I like this song for its lazy, sexy charms. The song doesn’t have much more to say other than the frequently repeated line “my God you’re gorgeous baby”, but sometimes that’s all that needs to be said. The thick fuzzy guitar and Volita’s bright vocals create plenty of sultry atmosphere. But none of that matters because of the utterly insane (and therefore brilliant) music video. Starring ex-Corrie actress and current UK tabloid hot mess Helen Flanagan, the video sees her pouting around a country house while lip-syncing the song. This is either an utterly genius career move for the Neo-Kalashnikovs or for Ms Flanagan, but not both. [6]
Eden Bradfield: Man! This video has a lot of views! Apparently the girl in the video is famous or something. It’s an okay song that goes on too long- only so many times one can repeat “..you’re gorgeous baby” unless one was David Lynch and putting it through a voice processor, which could actually be entertaining. Probably a longer song works to their advantage so the 166K people who’ve seen it can see more footage of Helen whatsherface. As a song it’s a bit weak, but it’s a publicity coup d’état. [4]
Luke Jacobs: Ignore the video. It is terrible. I didn’t know who Helen Flanagan was before it and after it I know nothing. So just stay away. The song ain’t bad but damn does it stick around for way too long. There is so much repetition of a single line and idea it could have been 2 minutes long and smoldered for that time and been perfectly good.
I guess whatever charm it had worked because I listened to the rest of the EP and I can say it’s better and this single is a bit weak compared to the rest of the material they have. The production on their other songs is better too, much less emphasis on the vocals and a hotter sound. The rhythm section sizzles in the EP but on this track it kind of sounds muted. There is potential here but right now we are coasting to average town. [5]
Elizabeth Beattie: The song has decent dynamics, the musical simplicity is quite appealing. The vocals are really excellent, well executed and they compliment the instrumental passages well. This song has an early 90s trancey quality to it, reminiscent of the Breeders while still remaining modern at the same time. I do however wish the lyrics were a little more artful and complex - after a few listens I really felt like I wanted there to be more of them. But I like the mood this track creates and think it’s a pretty decent single. [7]
Alex Braae: While I wasn’t particularly impressed by the lack of punch in this recording, I have no doubt this song would be incredible live. Perfectly simple melodically, with a fantastic drum pattern underpinning it, this song should be remade when the band has access to better technology. In a dark room, smoke machine, too crowded with drinks being spilled by a heaving crowd, the hooks of ‘Gorgeous Baby’ would sweep people up like puppets on strings. As it is in the present form though, it’s just potential. Frustratingly, not quite realised potential. [6]
Eamonn Marra: Nice guitar tone. The harmony in the chorus is really good too. The vocals are a bit high in the mix, and the production is a bit slick, but that is just a personal preference thing. I was hoping this would go somewhere, but it didn’t really do anything. It just stagnated with this one idea for a bit too long. It would be nicer if it were half as long. It’s not a bad song, it just lost its appeal by the end of it. [6]
Michael Kerby: Sleep inducing. Which is, I guess, part of the vibe — a sort of fuzzed-up Cowboy Junkies. But, while nice, (and actually a bit of an earworm) it’s missing some crucial item of interest. I have no desire to ever listen to it again, or to return to whatever languid world they just fell short of conjuring up. It’s certainly a catchy bastard, though. [5]
Nick Braae: The individual components of ‘Gorgeous Baby’ are strong. There’s the main groove, with its menacing battle between a straight kick-drum pattern and syncopated guitar and snare riff; there’s the lovely blending of the voices; and there’s the sultry, bluesy melody. But they don’t quite coalesce into a strong song, probably because there is so much repetition of the ideas. It’s a shame really; a little variation in structure and dynamic level, and this would have been a killer track. [6]