Monday, 28 March 2016

Burger Life #Yolo McAngus McBurnt

Burger life #yolo I almost feel a nostalgic sense of moral duty to help Mac Donald's in its time of financial need with worldwide losses hitting the company hard but with overcooked patties that resemble car tires and a lack of sauce that would probably be fatal to a man (sic) in the Sahara no wonder they're on deaths door the bacon resembled shards of glass cooked in the mines of Moria fml I still ate it though out of necessity lol

Sunday, 27 March 2016

Yellowbelly Kick out the Jams in Mt Albert

Yellowbelly dropped in to Rocawave studio to kick out some jams today in sunny old Mount Albert. Jared smashed the drums, Daniel rumbled the windows on bass and Fernando slayed on guitar and vocals. They describe their music as trash rock with fits of vomit jazz and hail from Papakura. They will be playing a show at UFO on the 7th of April so go check them out if you want to Rock!    Also hit the band up on Facebook if you want them to play a gig; 

Monday, 21 March 2016

NZ Radio Station Fined $8000 for Insulting Woman on Instagram

Just goes to show you can't say anything you like and get away with it on air! Good to see the Broadcasting standards authority standing up for woman's rights and fining people accordingly! You shouldn't have to put someone else down to make yourself feel better, it just shows you have low self-esteem and need to be on a power-trip to feel half way good. It's ironic that the same DJ who was fined also saw his wife run away to Australia with his kids recently. Obviously I don't want to make assumptions about someone I don't know but perhaps he should concentrate on things closer to home rather than putting the boot into other woman. So what if you like Instagram and want to promote yourself to the world, it doesn't mean you should label woman "do nothing b&%ches" if you got it flaunt, it's not your fault radio hosts get jealous over someone being better looking than them!

Sunday, 20 March 2016

The Symposium is Over! Pluto were the bloody hell are you! I mean Plato

The Symposium is over, had a wickedly good time at the Mercury Theatre on Saturday in the God's theatre. The poetry and music were wonderful and the genrous red chairs very pleasant to relax in. A big thank you to all the Theoradical Hobohemians  and everyone that came along and had a beer, wine or cup cake and enjoyed the nights entertainment. 

I was also merry enough to take to the stage on the night with Mick Innes who was preforming as Socrates and natually I was his faithful student Pluto, I mean Plato! However, after I trooped down onto the stage Socrates decided to lose the Toga a controversial and comical move and delieverd a modest and moving poem in his black underpants, classic Socrates move.

Below I am just gonna chuck up some ideas I wrote for Mick before he decided we should just wing it and just play it by air! Also thanks to Leighton Keutenius for coming along to see the show with Karen, always great to see you two at an event :) & Amber and Ben the sound and lighting was super dope. Finally If I have time I might post up a collage of images that I projected for the back drop for "Sympoisum"

p.s - thanks to Ruth Bioletti (Mother dearest) for organizing and promoting the whole show it was a big undertaking and I was super stoked to be involved, I had a brilliant time and glad the show was a hit and we had fun doing it! :)

Random Ideas about Socrates:

My names Socrates people fancy me as a Philosopher King 
but really im just a professional bullshit artist, isnt that right Pluto 
I mean Plato come here boy. 

You see when Im not dumpster diving at Countdown I like to fancy myslef as
 a bit of alright too my self-inflicted poverty isnt ideal but hey were living in the
real world arent we! well I hope we are bloody metaphsyics gets you know where 
in the end take it from me! 

You want to know a story? to bad im gonna tell it to you anyway and yeah you must 
just learning something about the philsophy of life 

So there I was in the black of night at Countdown Plato's keeping watch for pesky 
security and I am about 3 feet deep in trash just about to grab hold of a some primo canberra cheese
when Plato starts yapping like he's discovered the meaning of life - I ascend to the top and 
by god securities fast approaching and it looks like they've hired a new guy built like 
an armoured horse and carriage, but I peered a bit closer and it was just a shadow an
illusion and the moral of the stories always get the Canberra bar nothing! 

Your still here jesus thats the story I tell to people and it always propels people away 
like a Sparatan at an end of year work do in Athens always good for a laugh 

Look Im not gonna profess to know everything Plato's the real philsopher round here 
arent you boy yes you are fetch boy fetch 

But I definely know a hell of a lot about the Kardashians to give you an example 
i could pick Kim, Kendal, Khole, Kylie and what the hell even Kanye's ass out of any 
police line up in the world, we've definetly done our 10,000 hours of reality television 
havent we Plato. 

Which is a shame really I rather enjoyed that ten year period of my life, even if I was a bit depressed. 

Some people think that anyone could be a philospher if they tried real hard their so idealistic 
why dont they try coming up with how to unfuck the world everyday before breakfast, I had to give that shit up and I loved cornflakes. But I got so stressed I had an exoistential crisis from which I havent really recovered am I here, I know think I am but Am I really damn you philosophy!!!! 

Recently I've come to the sorry conclusion were living in a world controlled by silver back gorillas 
that has to be why everyones obssessed with someone elses banana   

you know the worse thing you can say to some in the whole world apart from "go die you worthless piece of shit you god damn failure" these days is 'dont do it" because it guarantees that some idiot somewhere in a hick town is gonna serach it up on youtube laugh inthe face of good reason and say say "you know what, I know I shouldnt but Im just gonna shot some fireworks out of my ass" 
the funny thing is they always ask you to watch them do the stupid thing, poor Aristotle he still has phantom limb pains from that manipulative little wombat that had the audacity to make up his own rules and ethics and rip his balls off. 

Through all my philsophizing im really only certain of one thing who ever created the universe had a sense of humour just look at the Platypus half duck, half stoat, half beaver cute as a teddy bear and more lethal than a rabbie infested stray dog terrifying your children at a picnic on a bank holiday. 

then I found out it wasnt a dream 

You wouldnt believe it I once had a dream I owned a playpus once, it was so smart it drove where I wanted to go without even telling it - telekensis or sometjhing I came up with that word! first we pulled up to my favourite liquor store in Mangere, then we went through the 
Mac Donalds drive through, round to my drug dealers house and finally to my drug dealers house for a bit of a buzz before finally settling in for a flutter on the roulette wheel on skycity. 

I tell you I never so much money in my whole life with that lucky Platypus by my side, I just started giving money away but then my acid trip turned sour and I started lossing heavily on the tables every number was red instead of black Why WASNT IT BLACK I started threatening the staff with a finnish dagger my friend Ensis had given to me for safe keeping, bloody armed defenders turned up 
thats when I decided to drink the hemlock all in one go I just couldnt be assed putting my hands on my head, it was a bloody great night though

Anyway i've got to catch up with the bloody stoics soon you know its bad when their all walking round with their flaming togas around their heads


Wednesday, 16 March 2016

Your a wizard Harry!! and Bullshit about AC/DC

   Just mucking around on the computer, representing in my hulk t-shirt yeah boy! ;) and my dressing gown yolo my drums are brooding in the right corner of the photo nice! working on my drum rudiments and starting to drum along to some of my favourite records which is really fun. Got half way through Lonerism before I stopped so I could keep playing later and not fuck of the neighbours to much. I generally just practice not on the drums so when I get to play them it kicks ass haha good times. I saw that the lead singer of AC/DC got unceremoniously dropped from the band for going deaf know thats a pretty crap thing to do to someone, plus I reckon there gonna have a really hard time replacing that guy with the cheese cutter hat who screams like his nuts are on fire lol I really hope they don't get some jackass to play in the band and butcher or there songs. Not that I am a super fan of AC/DC but I do like the song Thunderstruck and all the stuff with the original singer was pretty kick ass especially that video when there parodying everything haha yeah who cares anyway, and does it surprise you that AC/DC are going deaf man those guys volume is just stupid they need to set their amps to hearing aid mode

Wednesday, 9 March 2016

An Ode to Billy Joe the Human Squirrel of ‘Pennys’

A man called Billy Joe liked to collect copper Penny’s in America. For 45 years
or so he picked up every penny that ever came across his path, it’s hard to imagine
he ever missed one. And yet every time he discovered a shiny strawberry relic 
pressed by some big coin machine in Washington he stared up high into the
heavens and thanked the universe and endless cosmos for his good fortune.

If someone ever dropped a nickel or a quarter dollar he would always run 
after them chasing them down a few blocks to give it back to them, 
but he would never do the same for a penny he was like a jealous lover
and wanted them all, all of the time. His magpie eyes would search out
even the slightest glint of red metal like a roving street sweeper he went
onto amass over 500,000 U.S certified legal tender pennies. 

Sadly one day the man who ran on pennies like a meaningless slot machine
that never payed out fell on hard times, due in part to the current economic
recession, old age and supporting his family. Facing destitution and homelessness
the man made the melancholic decision to cash in his life’s work, every good
damn penny, because he simply couldn’t afford to live, he was quoted as saying;

“Lord put some food upon the table, help me paya weeks rent,
I don’t really need no cable as long as my children been feed”  

Much later he conveyed to media how excruciatingly painful it had been to cash
up his life’s work for a measly $5000 dollars, a tiny cheque on flimsy paper 
could never fill the void left by losing his hard won mammoth coin collection.
He recounted how the saddest idea for him was the thought of all his beloved
penny’s sloshing around in the financial system only to be lost and taken for 
granted again, and how this time he didn’t have enough time to find them all 
because he was dying.

From a philosophical point of view isn’t it strange how the small amount of money
Billy earnt in the end was utterly dwarfed by his supreme joy even ecstasy of
chasing and hunting pennies such a simple act that he adored almost above 
everything else in life except his family. I’d be interested to know if the reader
thinks it’s a gift or a curse finding value were there really is none?

Despite Old Billy Joe succumbing to his phantom illness that struck him down
like a thunderbolt after selling his pennies I can still imagine him like the mad
human squirrel he once was and forever is; galloping down suburban pavements
in Los Angeles searching for worthless stained red gold, that only he could see.
  Never forget that there was once a poor humble human bean called Billy Joe
who treated unwanted pennies littered on the streets like lost magical talismans.                  

Hopefully we can all start discovering our ‘Pennys’ too, an action that brings us
untold joy with no real productive end just guided by our own free will, passion
and desires (now that sounds very millennial indeed).         By Moss 

Monday, 7 March 2016

The cherub plays the trumpet in his spare time

The cherub plays the trumpet in his spare time
when he’s not out working in the industry of love
Cupid is a giver, he doesn’t take love and gives his all
expecting nothing in return it’s really sad how he has so little for himself

For the only one who holds sway over him is Aphrodite herself

When he slumps upon his worn cloudlet after a hard working day
It aint easy making people infatuated in every sort of way
He slides up into his room sparesly decorated a lone bed upon the ground
And begins to play the same solemn tune the most beautiful loving sound
With a melody and arrangement that could rip your soul in half
If you heard it you couldn’t help but keep falling head over heels in love

Tragically for the winged merchant of love
All he feels is zip, zero, zilch nada
For destiny and the cruel hand of fate
have made it so he can never fall in love or even go on a cheap date
blessed are the mortals who live in their naïve dopamine euphoria
little do they know how boring the Gods must live