Electric Blanket Lover

the only lover i ever needed was my electric blanket its hot as hell but knows how to cool down and stay chill when i need it too plus when im not ready for it there no quams it just waits for until i'm ready for it to engulf me and when im out of town on work or on vacation I know it won't cheat either or demand that it come too plus for the amount of unconditionally love i get from it im onto a good thing pity it's a guy and im not gay i guess no relationship was made to be perfect also sadly you never break up from an electric blanket they tend to die on you like your favourite pet animal or maybe they decay in a crumpled pile on a sweltering hot afternoon in Summer then full of remorse and guilt you shamelessly attempt to resusciatate the love you thrust it back onto your bed like the wedding night of your platonic consummation despite this primal display of wild dissarray the chilly depths of Winter overpower your union and it wont heat up properly like it youse to and your forced to throw all that good loving in the trash anyway Thank god there a more were that came from with electric blankets lining the fully stocked shelves at Briscoes But from my observation sadly they all seem to be getting shittier and shitter kind of like human beings overtime maybe one day electric blankets will resemble shitty human beings completely so much so that given the choice they will all choose not to work at all given the choice the poor old sods