Movie Review - “Crystal Fairy & The Magical Cactus”

You may know of Micheal Cera he has made a lot of crap movies that we’ve probably all watched hated and yet secretly enjoyed. Well dis-regard all your movie prejudice and well placed Hollywood animosity because “Crystal Fairy and the Magical Cactus” available to watch on Netflix's kicks some serious millennial ass.

 The film is based around the ding bat pictured above who is from America and travels all the way to Chile to get wasted on Cactus. Along the way he meets some locals who he befriends including the free spirited and foxy lady “Crystal Fairy”, together the squad decide to find a Cactus and cook it up to get a nice natural buzz going on.

Important to note - said cactus is only found in Chile. Everyone in the film can’t believe how a pasty white guy with no name could travel all the way to their beautiful country just to get ‘out of it’ and drink his lethal slimy looking concoction on a beach. 

The reason why this film is a must see is not to see actors simply pretending to drink peyote cause they actually do no acting necessary yo! Instead you owe it to yourself to watch this film because in one way or another we’re all like the lost American with the cactus desperately searching out something to give our life meaning. We are all guilty of investing our time, energy, love, dreams, hopes into a shallow dead end to avoid the realisation we are all going to die. 

By going on the cinematic journey with ‘Crystal Fairy’ a strange and cosmic woman she shows all morons the world over how we must embrace all aspects of our lives, not only one that we think holds all the answers. This is because we always risk disappoint when we invest heavily in a holy grail that offers any robust meaning to our lives. Arghh shucks just watch the bloody film!  

Digital Santa Created by Corporate Airline HA HA HA

This is just stupid haha. 33 million hits do my eyes deceive me. Just a trans-national giving money back to the people that have none - typical. Don't support this seems to cynical at the heart of it. Just an advert that everyone got sucked into but not me ;) lol or did I because I just watched half of it then decided to post it - damn it!

Jack Black as Funny as Ever in Bernie: A seriously class act from the fatty

Bernie

Bernie is a tragic comedy about a likable push over. The undertaker of a small town  Bernie is known to almost all Catheridges inhabitants as the most popular man in anyones books. When it comes to helping people no problem is to small for Bernie that he wont help. Whether it's your overdue tax returns your dead husbands corpse or upgrading your coffin to the top of the line model he's your man.

The lead actor who plays Bernie is Jack Black so if you aren't a fan this is probably not a film for you .Having said this I would advise anyone that missing this movie is a terrible blunder as it is a moving, seriously funny and excitingly stressful. I would go so far as to urge even the most adamant Jack Black hater to dis-regard there contempt of him and give it a chance, even if its a slim one. I say this not to cause such person to have a terrible time but to try and open people to a person who is an extremely talented human being. I stress this as I have come across a lot of people who do not care for Jack Black in the extreme some insisting he is only good for eating mac donalds and being used as a speed bump. I strongly disagree with such a diagnosis of Jack Black because in my eyes he symbolizes a dead end loser making a go off what life has to offer him. After all he did have a huge house in the Beverly Hills in his early twenties and that success demands some respect. I believe the underground meets the mainstream dialectic is best summed up in someone like Black because in all honest how many people do you that can play the guitar gaining a number one hit in the U.S, act like he was born to do it and tell hilliarous jokes with eye catching facial gestures that would make Jack Nicholson weep. 

Furthermore if your a fan of Tenacious D this movie will rock your socks off  because Bernie is a man that likes to sing in the severe extremes. He's a person known to all the village as a man that will sing any song at a funeral no matter how obscure. From the chart topping Guns and Rose's "Sweet Child of Mine" to Leonard Cohen's sucky songs he has it on lock. In my view Bernie is man made of the rarest calibre as he's the sort of person that would learn the whole guitar solo from "Stairway to Heaven" just to play for your dead ass.

Finally the plot of this film is hard to scratch at without giving to much action away so i've purposefully avoided it. But I'll give you a brief guide of events . Bless Bernie's heart he gets in trouble with the law and everyone has to rally around him and fight for his freedom. But enough of that see this movie and have a fantastic time. 

Moss B